Curveball

Curveball been added to sidebar becaue game is fucking awesme. However, the fourof us have downssyndrome, don't know how to make BIGGER

My New License Plate Number- 0OO00O

"H,ONE,J,K,L,M,N,ZEROOO"

Whoever invented numbers and the alphabet is fucking retarded. It makes me wonder if one guy did it or if there was a group of people deciding on it. It's a little more reasonable if it was just one guy, and everyone was like, "Hey, make us some shapes that look like the sounds we're making when we're talking, so we can use those shapes to draw and give to people so we never have to talk to them!" so the guy would just be like, "Okay fine... here's 26 shapes for sounds and 10 shapes for counting shit. I didn't look over it." and then that's how the alphabet was born and everybody in the history of the world was too lazy to change O's and zero's or 1's and I's and lower case l's so they didn't look exactly the same. Is it really that fucking hard? Could you really not think of any other shapes to use, like a square or a triangle?

The second most reasonable option would be if it was a group of people and they were just high as fuck and were like, "Dude. What if we made shapes for noises. And we called it the alphabet. Cue. Cuuuuuuuee. Cuuuuuuuuuuuue. Dude, it sounds like a circle with a line through the bottom right corner" and they were so high that they forgot that they already used a plain circle twice and a straight line three times.

The third option that is more retarded than John Travolta's son is that a group of sober people decided upon it. Like if they finally had all the shapes written down and were like, "Nope. I see nothing wrong with the alphabet and numbers at all. There would be nothing confusing at all if I was three years old trying to learn the alphabet and numbers and I had to know the difference between I, 1, and lowercase l, and if people called me an idiot for singing the alphabet by saying 'JKLMNZEROOOO.'"

In protest to the alphabet and numbers, I will request a vanity plate consisting of all zeros and O's, and then do the most illegal shit possible in my car. Nobody would be able to report my license plate because they wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

"911"
"Hey this guy was just doing donuts in front of the White House, bumping Bone Thugz-n-Harmony and shooting a rocket launcher out of his sunroof."
"Okay, can I get his license plate?"
"Umm, okay. Zero, Zero, O, Zero. No wait, I think that's an O. No, it's skinnier than the other circles...fuck... I can't tell! Who the fuck invented the alphabet?"

Hopefully you all will join me and get your own license plate made of all zero's and O's and we can start a gang called the circle gang.

Fuck Circus Peanuts

Fuck Circus Peanuts

10 Signs You're Gay

MOM I NEED MORE BEANIE BABIES, KELLY GOT BOOTIES THE CAT YESTERDAY

1. You do not know who won the Super Bowl last year.

2. You were genuinely interested in a girl’s relationship with her boyfriend, not because you wanted to fuck her.

3. You tell people Smirnoff Ice is your favorite beer.

4. You are in Art School.

5. You collected beanie babies as a child

6. You think it is funny to grind on dudes. Your friends tell you that you do it too much.

7. You use messenger bags instead of backpacks

8. You upload pictures to Facebook

9. You don’t notice when you sit on things

10. You bend over instead of kneel to tie your shoes

10 Signs You Suck

If you're a Nationals fan, then you'll definitely enjoy the WNBA. It's much less entertaining than the NBA.

1. You are wearing Ed Hardy

2. You have fixed a computer before

3. The only sport you played in high school was cross country

4. You are a big Washington Nationals fan

5. You have a blog

6. You have given a handjob

7. People who know you have given you more than four nicknames

8. You give a shit about politics

9. You check MySpace

10. You know where your rollerblades are and they still fit you

I FUCKD YO BITCH

Music Update

1. According to Universal Studios, Michael Bay will be making a five-hour-long remake of Lawrence of Arabia starring Martin Lawrence as Lawrence of Arabia...Queen just released the single for the upcoming soundtrack.

One of the worst songs I've ever heard. For some reason I listened to the whole thing and I will never figure out what the fuck I just listened to. They must play a lot of Prince of Persia or something...

2. THIS IS THE COOLEST FUCKING SONG I EVA HERD IN MY LIFE I FUCKED YO BITCH SOULJA BOI!!!


Check back next week to realize we don't actually do Music Updates

OUR ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!

Nobody gives a shit!

This guy is awesome

http://dontevenreply.com/

Puts prank calling to shame... a new way of being an asshole. Funniest shit I've ever read.

+10 straight points for blogging

Air Bud Movies Currently in Production

Air Bud Basketball

Air Bud Football

Air Bud Soccer

Air Bud Baseball

Air Bud Beach Volleyball

Air Bud Sled Dogs

Air Bud Hockey

Air Bud Swimming

Air Bud Nascar

Air Bud 100 meter dash

Air Bud Ice Skating

Air Bud Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest

Air Bud Kite Surfing

Air Bud Bungee Jumping

Air Bud X Games

Air Bud Major League Gamer

Air Bud Paintballing

Air Bud Lacrosse

Air Bud Crew

Air Bud Cross Country

Air Bud Swingers

Air Bud Too Fast Too Furious

Air Bud Roller Derby

Air Bud Pokemon: Orange Islands

Air Bud Whiffle Ball

Air Bud Kendo

Air Bud Fencing

Air Bud Time Traveling

Air Bud Extreme Home Makeover

Air Bud Snorkeling

Air Bud Beer Pong

Air Bud Outdoorsmen Challenge

Air Bud Ninja Warrior

Air Bud American Gladiators

Air Bud Hustle and Flow

Air Bud Million Dollar Matchmaker

Air Bud Kentucky Derby

Air Bud: TRL New Year’s Countdown

Air Bud Battle of the Bands

Air Bud World Poker Tour

Air Bud Slow Motion Kissing Scene

Air Bud Polo

Air Bud Cricket

Air Bud Bocce Ball

Air Bud Bar Fighting

Air Bud Bikini Waxing

Air Bud Black and White Photography

Air Bud Knife Throwing

Air Bud T-Shirt Printing

Air Bud Lemonade Tycoon

Air Bud Coke Orgy

Air Bud Competitive Masturbating

Air Bud Slamball

A Shot at Love with Air Bud

Air Bud’s Rock of Love

Air Bud Greco Roman Wrestling

Air Bud Iron Chef

Air Bud: The Pick-Up Artist

Air Bud Emergency Room

Air Bud and Mike Vick go for a Walk

Air Bud Frat Hazing

Air Bud Mid-Life Crisis

Air Bud Autotune

Air Bud Wars: Attack of the Air Bud Clones

Air Bud Sorority Rush Week

Air Bud Bar Hopping

In The Air Bud Tonight

Air Bud Supply

Con Air Bud

Air Bud Force One

Into Thin Air Bud

Air Bud: E! True Hollywood Story

The PepsiCo President Must Always Be a Drunk Frat Guy. Who Else Thinks of a Combination Pizza Hut AND Taco Bell?

This song directs my life. I realize what is most important to me. It's a combination. It's also called ingenuity. Parents across America know what's up.

The Evolution of Dance: We Only Grind Now and It's AWESOME

PIMP

Riddle of the 21st century:

When did dancing go from holding a girls hand and spinning her around like a fairy to rubbing your cock on the backside of as many girls as you can possibly find? I'm not complaining, but its kind of fucked up. Remember how every 90's high school movie ended with a party where everyone danced face-to-face without touching each other? All that space in between people? Was everyone a virgin in the 90's?

I did some research.... just kidding. Research sucks. I looked up grinding on YouTube and found this. I felt like I just ate $19 worth of Taco Bell after watching that, aka pretty dirty. But the thing is, dancing now is just a group of 60 people doing that in a little group. (I'm going to just keep linking this. You're welcome.)

Unless you fucking suck, you've probably grinded on some biddy before. The worst part about the whole thing is seeing one of your friends doing the same thing. I've had less awkward encounters when friends have walked in on me taking a shit. Most likely, your friend is probably dancing with a pretty unattractive girl. If he's not, then most likely you're dancing with a pretty unattractive girl. If you both managed to turn your douche off for the night and actually are both dancing with attractive girls, the exchange is still awkward. Why? You're both trying to fuck the girl you're grinding on. Don't be a fag and fuck up your buddy's game by being a fag and looking at him.

Why did people dance like tools in the 90's? It wasn't that long ago. My hypothesis: the ambiguity makes it easier to keep yourself clean the morning after. It's a lot more harmless if you were "dancing (whatever that means)" with some fat slut in front of you back in the 90's rather than having dry sex, aka grinding, with the same girl today.

My hypothesis for the future: people will stop dancing at parties. A typical exchange between strangers at a party will be: "Hey do you want to fuck?" "Yes, I do." "Well come on, let's go fuck on the fuck floor." People will gradually start fucking on dance floors, which will gradually grow more socially acceptable, which will happen more in public, which will lead to everyone fucking everywhere all the time, which will lead to the collapse of mankind, which will lead to hardcore evangelical conservatives being right all along...

The Chode Monologues' consensus is that community dance floor fucking would be awesome, only because we're drunk right now.

Every Guy Needs To Make This His Homepage

I could be doing a final portfolio for one of my classes, but this is too mezmerizing. Not only are there awesome explosions, but boobs are accompanied with said explosions.

Instructions: click on one of the pictures, either of the boobs or the explosion, and new pictures of boobs or explosions will pop up.

Blogging is Gay

By gay, we mean… we don’t know. Nick Swardson said it best: “I’m sorry, but some stuff’s fucking gay, dude. How else am I supposed to describe a fanny pack?”

Why Blogging is Gay:

1. Perez Hilton. He's a genius. He realized that for some reason, some people love flamboyant assholes and capitalized greatly on it. I don't ever associate myself with people who love flamboyant assholes, so I was fine with it. Unfortunately, I have to avoid watching this flamboyant asshole on television now and have to convince girls that I'm not homophobic for hating Perez Hilton. The guy's just a flamboyant asshole. His hair is fucking blue and half of his blog is just him drawing dicks into celebrities' mouths with Microsoft Paint.

2. Stuff White People Like. Since I'm not 35 years old and boring, I don't like, and possibly even hate, most of these things (besides hating Ed Hardy.) That being said, the site makes me hate white people. It's fine to be racist against white people, so that's not the problem. The problem is that I'm white. You are making me look bad. This website is why I feel uncomfortable holding a coffee while I talk to a black guy. Stop.

3. Seth Godin's Blog. Who the fuck is Seth Godin? Why do I care what Seth Godin's thinking? Why is this blog popular? Why do you care what we're thinking? Why am I blogging?

4. LOL Cats. Definition of overkill. Seeing a link to LOL Cats on my Facebook News Feed ruins my day.

5. FAIL Blog. Slightly changing LOL Cats and overkilling that joke too is FAIL.

6. Oprah's Blog. Fuck you Oprah. Do you really need a blog too? You have a TV Show, a website, a magazine, a book club, a radio station and a TV NETWORK. Do you really need a blog? Do you need everything? Do you have a friendster too?

7. Is My English Strange? Yes. Stop communicating. I don't understand you.