Blogging is Gay

By gay, we mean… we don’t know. Nick Swardson said it best: “I’m sorry, but some stuff’s fucking gay, dude. How else am I supposed to describe a fanny pack?”

Why Blogging is Gay:

1. Perez Hilton. He's a genius. He realized that for some reason, some people love flamboyant assholes and capitalized greatly on it. I don't ever associate myself with people who love flamboyant assholes, so I was fine with it. Unfortunately, I have to avoid watching this flamboyant asshole on television now and have to convince girls that I'm not homophobic for hating Perez Hilton. The guy's just a flamboyant asshole. His hair is fucking blue and half of his blog is just him drawing dicks into celebrities' mouths with Microsoft Paint.

2. Stuff White People Like. Since I'm not 35 years old and boring, I don't like, and possibly even hate, most of these things (besides hating Ed Hardy.) That being said, the site makes me hate white people. It's fine to be racist against white people, so that's not the problem. The problem is that I'm white. You are making me look bad. This website is why I feel uncomfortable holding a coffee while I talk to a black guy. Stop.

3. Seth Godin's Blog. Who the fuck is Seth Godin? Why do I care what Seth Godin's thinking? Why is this blog popular? Why do you care what we're thinking? Why am I blogging?

4. LOL Cats. Definition of overkill. Seeing a link to LOL Cats on my Facebook News Feed ruins my day.

5. FAIL Blog. Slightly changing LOL Cats and overkilling that joke too is FAIL.

6. Oprah's Blog. Fuck you Oprah. Do you really need a blog too? You have a TV Show, a website, a magazine, a book club, a radio station and a TV NETWORK. Do you really need a blog? Do you need everything? Do you have a friendster too?

7. Is My English Strange? Yes. Stop communicating. I don't understand you.