The Chode Monologues: July 2009

28.7.09

MOM I NEED MORE BEANIE BABIES, KELLY GOT BOOTIES THE CAT YESTERDAY

1. You do not know who won the Super Bowl last year.

2. You were genuinely interested in a girl’s relationship with her boyfriend, not because you wanted to fuck her.

3. You tell people Smirnoff Ice is your favorite beer.

4. You are in Art School.

5. You collected beanie babies as a child

6. You think it is funny to grind on dudes. Your friends tell you that you do it too much.

7. You use messenger bags instead of backpacks

8. You upload pictures to Facebook

9. You don’t notice when you sit on things

10. You bend over instead of kneel to tie your shoes

If you're a Nationals fan, then you'll definitely enjoy the WNBA. It's much less entertaining than the NBA.

1. You are wearing Ed Hardy

2. You have fixed a computer before

3. The only sport you played in high school was cross country

4. You are a big Washington Nationals fan

5. You have a blog

6. You have given a handjob

7. People who know you have given you more than four nicknames

8. You give a shit about politics

9. You check MySpace

10. You know where your rollerblades are and they still fit you

1. According to Universal Studios, Michael Bay will be making a five-hour-long remake of Lawrence of Arabia starring Martin Lawrence as Lawrence of Arabia...Queen just released the single for the upcoming soundtrack.

One of the worst songs I've ever heard. For some reason I listened to the whole thing and I will never figure out what the fuck I just listened to. They must play a lot of Prince of Persia or something...

2. THIS IS THE COOLEST FUCKING SONG I EVA HERD IN MY LIFE I FUCKED YO BITCH SOULJA BOI!!!

Check back next week to realize we don't actually do Music Updates

Nobody gives a shit!